When You're Tired, Should You Rest or Push Through?
Writer: Vicki Phillips
There is a question I've been asking myself a lot lately:
When I'm tired, should I rest or should I push through?
It sounds like it should have a simple answer.
If you're tired, rest.
Or perhaps:
You're tired because you're out of shape. Push yourself.
And depending on which corner of the fitness world you're listening to, you can find someone very confidently telling you either one.
But what if you're not sure?
What if you're trying to build strength and maintain your fitness, but your energy has changed?
What if you've had a bad night's sleep?
What if you've been under stress?
What if your body is recovering from an injury?
What if you feel tired, but you also know that doing nothing for weeks isn't going to help you become stronger?
I've been thinking about this a lot because lately I don't always know what the right answer is.
Tired Doesn't Always Mean the Same Thing
I think this is one of the hardest things about learning to listen to your body.
Because tired can mean so many different things.
Sometimes I'm physically tired.
Sometimes I'm mentally exhausted.
Sometimes I've slept badly and everything feels harder.
Sometimes I've been sitting around too much and actually feel better once I start moving.
Sometimes I feel completely flat and have no idea whether movement will help or make me feel worse.
And sometimes I am simply reluctant to start.
Those things can feel remarkably similar before you begin.
But they aren't necessarily asking the same thing from you.
The Problem With Always Pushing Through
I've spent a lot of time around the idea that we need to push ourselves if we want to improve.
And there is truth in that.
Strength doesn't happen because we always stay inside our comfort zone.
Our bodies need a reason to adapt.
We need to challenge our muscles if we want to become stronger.
And particularly as we move through midlife, strength training becomes increasingly important for maintaining muscle, strength and physical independence.
So I'm not interested in telling women that they should never push themselves.
I think that can be just as unhelpful as the old “no pain, no gain” mentality.
The problem is when pushing through becomes the only answer.
When tiredness becomes something you have to overcome rather than information you can consider.
When every workout has to prove something.
When resting feels like failure.
I've been there.
And I don't think it creates the relationship with movement that I want anymore.
But Resting Isn't Always the Answer Either
This is the other side of the conversation that sometimes gets lost.
Sometimes you really are capable of moving.
You're just not feeling motivated.
You're out of your routine.
You're procrastinating.
You've had a stressful day.
And sometimes, once you start, you feel completely different.
This has been particularly relevant for me since moving.
I've struggled to find my old rhythm.
I used to have a morning routine that felt almost automatic.
Now I can find myself putting things off, feeling unmotivated, and wondering
why something that used to feel so easy suddenly feels like such an effort.
If I rested every time I felt reluctant, I might never get back into a routine.
Sometimes the kindest thing I can do for myself is simply begin.
Not because I need to punish myself into exercising.
But because I know that sometimes starting is the hardest part.
So How Do You Know?
I don't think there is a perfect test.
But I've started becoming more interested in what happens when I begin.
If I feel tired but otherwise okay, I might start with a gentle warm-up.
I don't have to decide before I begin exactly how hard the whole session will be.
I can start.
Pay attention.
And then decide.
Maybe I discover that my body feels better once I'm moving.
Maybe I feel stronger than I expected.
Maybe I realise that today isn't the day for a hard session.
Neither outcome means I've failed.
The important thing is that I didn't have to make the decision from the couch.
Your Workout Doesn't Have to Be All or Nothing
This is probably one of the most useful things I've learned.
There is a huge space between:
I did my full workout exactly as planned
and
I did absolutely nothing.
You can reduce the weight.
You can do fewer repetitions.
You can take longer rests.
You can change an exercise.
You can shorten the workout.
You can spend ten minutes moving instead of doing your usual forty-five.
You can start with the intention of doing a full session and change your mind halfway through.
That isn't inconsistency.
That's adaptability.
And I think adaptability becomes increasingly important when your body, your life and your energy aren't exactly the same every day.
Sometimes the Goal Is to Maintain the Habit
I've also had to let go of the idea that every workout needs to improve my fitness.
Sometimes the goal is simply to keep the relationship with movement alive.
To put my shoes on.
To pick up the weights.
To get on the mat.
To remind myself:
I am still someone who moves.
Even if the workout isn't impressive.
Even if I lift less than I did last month.
Even if I finish after fifteen minutes.
There is value in maintaining the habit while you're waiting for your capacity to come back.
And sometimes that small session is what makes the next one easier.
And Sometimes You Really Do Need to Rest
There are also days when the answer is simply:
Rest.
Not because you've failed.
Not because you've lost your discipline.
But because your body is giving you information that deserves to be taken seriously.
If you're unwell, injured, unusually exhausted or dealing with pain or swelling, pushing harder isn't automatically the stronger choice.
Sometimes recovery is part of training.
And sometimes the most productive thing you can do for your future strength is allow your body the time it needs today.
I'm Still Learning This
I wish I could tell you that I've worked this out.
I haven't.
I'm still learning the difference between:
I don't want to
and
I don't have the capacity to.
I'm learning that sometimes I need encouragement to begin.
And sometimes I need permission to stop.
I'm learning that getting stronger requires challenge.
But it also requires recovery.
And I'm learning that listening to my body doesn't mean allowing every feeling of tiredness to dictate what I do.
It means becoming curious.
What is happening today?
What might I need?
What could I reasonably ask of myself?
And what would help me come back tomorrow?
Maybe the Question Isn't Rest or Push
Maybe that's the part I've been missing.
Perhaps the question isn't:
Should I rest or push through?
Perhaps it's:
How can I move forward without ignoring what my body is telling me?
Sometimes that will mean pushing a little harder.
Sometimes it will mean doing less.
Sometimes it will mean changing the workout completely.
And sometimes it will mean resting without guilt.
None of those choices make you weak.
They are simply different responses to different circumstances.
Because strength isn't only the ability to push yourself.
Sometimes strength is knowing how much to ask of yourself — and when to ask for something different.
And I think that's something many of us have to learn all over again in midlife.
If This Resonated
If this way of thinking about strength feels like a relief, you might also enjoy exploring:
A Gentle Approach to Strength Training - where I share the philosophy behind this calmer way of building strength
The Truth About “Failing” at Fitness - for a different perspective if you’ve struggled to stay consistent in the past
Gentle Invitation
If you’re over 45 and thinking about starting, I don’t think you need do anything extreme.
You just need something structured. Calm. Clear. Progressive.
My Strength After 45 Starter Guide is designed exactly for that. Gentle, practical, and ready for you to download and begin today.
When you download the guide, you’ll also join my email list where I share gentle tips, movement ideas, and guidance for midlife women who want to feel strong, confident, and at home in their bodies.
If this reflection resonated, and you’re curious about a gentler, body-led approach to fitness and movement after 45, you might also like to explore Calm Strength, my full 12-week guided online strength program for midlife women.
I’m always happy to have a calm conversation and explore whether support might be helpful for you.
— Vicki 🌿
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